Standing in Your Truth

“I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882),
American author, poet, and philosopher,
in Self Reliance

 

stand in your truth

Life has a way of buffeting you, knocking you off the course of just being yourself. Persons will disagree with you. Others simply won’t like how you think, feel, and act.

Amid the many pressures to not be yourself, how do you make your own way staying true to who you are?

One of the self-guiding principles is to stand in your truth.

Only one thing exists – the present, what is, the Now. If you doubt this, show me something that is not now. How can truth be anything other than what is so, now. Where else could you expect to find it?

For the individual then, your personal truth is what is so for you now. It is how you value, think, feel, sense, and experience at the moment. Your personal truth is not objective truth (i.e., the earth is round); it’s the truth of how you experience your life as you are living it.

Existential psychotherapist James Bugental once defined authenticity as an “unqualified accord with the givenness of your nature.” Said differently, being authentic is being congruent with how you experience your life in the moment; that is standing with or in your truth.

Other persons of course may experience their personal truth differently. It’s inevitable, given that we’re individuals. You are a democrat, she is a republican. You an atheist, he a believer. You like your neon green hair, your partner hates it. You’re feeling this way, and he’s “shoulding” all over you.

For example, you’re having an argument with your partner, and your partner shouts, “You’re being defensive!”, as if the feeling is a crime. Now you may not like being defensive; it feels tight, uncomfortable, unsettling.

Nevertheless your feeling defensive is the truth of your experience at the moment. It is what’s so. Rather than deny your truth, standing in the truth of your experience might lead you simply to reply, “Yes, I am. And that’s ok.”

Your partner then might try to convince you that feeling defensive is wrong. But judgment of what is, is mistaken. Standing in your truth might lead you to answer, “Right or wrong is irrelevant. That’s how I’m feeling at the moment. If that’s difficult for you, perhaps you could be curious about your own experience.”

In this example and other situations where you might be pressured to abandon your experience, you need not defend, justify, or explain what is so for you, it simply is so. Similarly, you need not pressure another to abandon his truth.

It’s important to remember that standing in your truth does not mean you are inflexible. Change happens, of course. Our thoughts and feelings change, sometimes even in the middle of an argument.

When change happens, your experience of what is true for you becomes different. As a lover of truth, you are open to change and faithful to your changing experience.

Standing in your truth of course applies to greater concerns than feelings and arguments, for it is the way of self-direction that can guide the course of your life. By listening deeply within, you apprehend what is so for you, and live accordingly, letting the Being’s dynamism unfold through the continuing expression of your uniqueness.

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By MichaelN on February 24, 2015 · Posted in Practice of Authenticity

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